Wedding Services 4U - How to Set your Wedding to Music

First Things First by Barbara Rothstein and Gloria Sklerov
(Authors of "HOW TO SET YOUR WEDDING TO MUSIC")

Congratulations! You're planning your wedding.

You've been so busy. From the minute you set the date you've been so harried, what with your gown, the wedding location, flowers, bridesmaids, ushers, honeymoon, registering, shopping and on and on.

But thank goodness…you've hired a great band or a fabulous DJ. At least your music is taken care of. Or is it?

Don't count on it. Sadly, hundreds of thousand of couples do all their wedding planning so carefully…so diligently, only to let the ball drop where the most emotional and critical part of their wedding is concerned…the music.

Most couples naturally focus on their clothes, flowers, setting, etc. first. And rightly so, for these things make a wedding look beautiful. But it's music that makes a wedding feel beautiful.

It's music that can unite a room full of strangers as they share each and every special moment…one mind, one heart…or not.

Until now, not enough information and step-by-step planning guidance has been available before hiring the band/DJ, or for the final meeting with them when you actually plan and 'choreograph' your wedding program.

In most cases, at that meeting, (usually a week or two before the wedding) you're asked all kinds of questions, many you may never have thought of before. You find yourself making on-the-spot decisions without really having enough time to think or to imagine how those decisions will affect your wedding. Unless you have a clear idea of what you want, too often it's the band or DJ's choices that rule. That's not to say that they won't have good ideas, but remember…it's not their wedding. It's yours.

The ideal situation is for you to go to these planning sessions with a vision and to take your time in making final decisions. Nobody knows what's right for you better than you!

If you're wondering what to do first to make your wedding a fabulous success…and we measure success by how good a time you AND your guests have…we're here to help with some suggestions.

*** STEP ONE ***

First you dream. Believe it or not, visualizing your dream will be one of the most important parts of your planning, perhaps even the most important, for behind every successful creation is an idea…a heart's desire. Everything starts with an idea…a dream, whether it's a home you're building, a honeymoon you're planning, or your wedding. The clearer your vision, the easier you'll find the process of making it a reality.

At the beginning, it's most important to allow yourself the time to explore your own personal preferences and consider lots of different options. Remember-this is a creative process. Let your ideas flow and your natural creativity take flight.

Think of your wedding as a film. Like any successful film, a great wedding has an interesting and meaningful opening with dramatic moments that build in intensity up to an exciting climax and satisfying ending. But a great film, though beautifully directed and produced, only comes alive when the composer adds the musical score. The soundtrack is the greatest single influence on the feeling and pacing of a film.

Pretend that you are the composer and the music you choose is the soundtrack of your wedding. Take an imaginary journey through your wedding, scene by scene. Imagine how you'll feel at the moment of each scene: your family walking down the aisle, your entrance as a bride at your most beautiful. Now imagine music that expresses all these feelings.

Successful wedding planners, consultants and musicians instinctively conceptualize different parts of the wedding as 'scenes' and they use certain definitions that you may not be familiar with yet. These definitions will be very helpful to you at the beginning when you are gathering information and interviewing caterers, catering halls or hotels, etc., and dealing with musicians or DJs as well as planning your entire wedding program.

THE PRELUDE - Pre-Ceremony ~ This is the very beginning of the wedding, the time when the first guests arrive; sometimes refreshments or cocktails and hors d'oeuvres are served before the Ceremony begins; sometimes the prelude is nothing more than the few moments before the Ceremony when guests have just been seated.

THE PRE-PROCESSIONAL ~ This is the time just before the Wedding Party enters when everyone is seated, waiting for the Procession; (Pre-processional music is usually played for escorting elderly or other honored guests not part of the official wedding party down the aisle)

THE PROCESSIONAL ~ This is the entrance of the Wedding Party and, of course, the Bride.

THE CEREMONY ~ The actual ceremony when you exchange vows and rings-the time for prayers, blessings, invocations and pronouncements.

UNITY CANDLE ~ This is an optional part of the Ceremony; usually a candle-lighting and brief period of reflection on the uniting of the two of you and the joining of your two lives (and two families) into one.

THE RECESSIONAL ~ Your joyous, post-Ceremony return down the aisle with your newly joined families is the last part of the Ceremony and is directly followed by the guests' exit (usually to a reception area).

THE INTERLUDE / POSTLUDE / COCKTAIL OR CHAMPAGNE HOUR ~ This is immediately after the Ceremony and just before the main Reception. It's the time for you and your families to be congratulated (formally in a receiving line, or informally while pre-dinner cocktails and hors d'oeuvres are served).

THE RECEPTION ~ The time after the Ceremony and the Interlude for celebrating - whether sit-down dinner, buffet or light refreshments - is called the reception. For smaller weddings, the interlude, or cocktail hour, where food is served, may actually be the only reception. (Not all weddings have to have full dinner or dance receptions, but they do need music)

Gradually, you'll be making decisions with your fiancé and family about the size of your wedding, where it's to be, and whether you'll be having a prelude, a unity candle ceremony, an interlude, or a dance reception after the ceremony, or just a quiet dinner, etc. Obviously, not all weddings have all of these 'scenes'. In any event, using these categories when dealing with wedding professionals will make communications between you clearer and give you a natural framework in which to create your dream.

*** STEP TWO ***

Keep a small notebook just for planning your wedding music. Start a list of music ideas. Using the definitions we just gave you, keep a separate page for each one and write down several songs you would consider using for the 'scenes' of your wedding. Jot down titles of songs you particularly like as they occur to you or when you hear them in films, on radio and TV, and at other weddings and affairs.

Just as you would want to highlight the emotions of the ceremony, the same is true of the reception, whether it's a small intimate dinner, or a full-blown party. Recognizing and honoring your family and friends and other important people in your lives through special pieces of music during the reception, adds warmth and closeness and can make all the difference in the world to the success of the wedding. As you're visualizing the scenes of your wedding, keep these special people in mind. (One special way to do that is to find out the special song some of your friends and family members played at their weddings. Imagine their delight when they hear 'their' song!)

Play your favorite music and songs, trying different selections and styles as you imagine the 'scenes' of your wedding. Picture yourself and others in each scene as you play the different selections.

Now that you know how important it is to visualize your dream wedding, give yourself permission to spend time doing just that and to luxuriate in your day dreaming. The ideas and pictures forming in your mind will be the foundation of your wedding program. There's much to do, but it's a time to enjoy and remember for the rest of your life. We encourage you to take the time and to give all your dreams the attention they deserve.

We wish you a beautiful wedding, and may music and love fill your lives forever.